Either you leave him or you learn to forgive and move on. Im in tears typing this out because I have so much pain and I have no true compassion from him. So Monday I got off early from work and checked the on line account and saw that there had been a text sent that morning. I dont know what to do. He was being very weird about it. Completely. He has continued to reject me physically, and still to this day defends her when her name comes up I know that I am not wrong, I know that even IF( big IF) he never slept with her, he had an intense emotional relationship with her, that superceeded ours by far, and that alone has ruined our relationship and our marriage, and I cannot let go of the it, I need to know the truth, and why! Science has proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations. my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? Emptying almost all of it within 10 days time. You can love a man, he can be a good man, and he can say he loves you back, support you financially. Some apps track location, some keep track of calls and texts, and so on. he said no that is why we are going out this side door. He tells me he never wanted me to find out, that he never wanted to hurt me. Now he tells me that he feels empty and without purpose; and blames me for failing him. Why arent wives DEMANDING to have the passwords to these phones? I did not ask about this photos, cuz I felt I dont have the right. Im not sure if its emotionally or physically or if he has even cheated at all. The love of my life has become a monster and an abusive POS who deserves to be locked up. I feel so disrespected from him and this girl. he was just looking at her picture for fantasizing and thats all. I know its not easy but he doesnt live close anyway so cut the cord so you are free to find someone who really loves you! Pack his stuff up; change the locks, be ready with the police if needed and keep his pathetic a*** out hun xxx. I just went through this, the only difference is that we have four kids together. He had taken her on a vacation when I thought he was on a golf outing!! He's not going to change his character-assassinating . I think he uses people to get things that he wants. Respectfully, Been There. When I was walking back to my vehicle, I did not see him or woman that works with him. I have a hard time reading him, and he jokes around a lot. Well, Ive been with my husband 11 years and married to him for 7 years on and off. This has made me just want to be dead. Leave him. But he never puts me on mute when he buys stuff or orders food while on the phone with me so why put me on mute to ask a store guy to buy a blunt? It is possible that you have experienced those situations but did not put them here. He is learning about emotional affairs, and you are learning how to recognize and talk about the signs a husband is cheating. In addition Id like to say that womens love & essentially commitment to you as men is such a powerful expression that more often than not gets taken for granted (vise a versa). Maybe it would be effective to outright ask him if hes having an affair. So his lying is a defense mechanism, and he's perfected it over many years. I feel he lied about everything. He was able in therapy to admit to an attraction but to say its mostly a mentor relationship. here it goes my husband of 15yrs. The husband didnt seem to mind if his wife talked to other men at a bar, or go off for an hour with another man to buy beer. We dont have the money for counseling and Im afraid he will think its nuts that I want counseling. The distraction will work wonders for your mental health and help to get those happy hormones pumping through your body. I wish you happiness for the future and am sorry that this man is being such a loser. He owns his own business and ends his day at the same place before coming everyday (another womans business). Perhaps youre a stay-at-home mom with the children, or maybe you also have a career. Pushing yourself to come up with answers . However, to make yourself feel better, a personal trainer could work wonders. I am so confused, before we moved in everything was terrific. I have lost respect for him. He once was mad at me and told my why dont you just go and have an affair 7. Can you imagine who you could be without your cheating husband, what you can do, where you could go? But they like to act as if it didnt happen. So you can see where Im thrown off. I want you to come back and let me know how youre doing. Most men say they wouldn't have an affair. Instead, it might go something like this: you always disappear on our weekends off, you get too chummy and personal with the girls and women at work, you always talk about porn and strip clubs, you say you are the only decent man out there because every other man goes to strip clubs (talk about projection), you oversexualize every woman instead of them just being flakes or incompetent, these other women in your life must be damaged because they have been molested, you talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or female coworkers all the time, she found naked pictures of women on your phone or computer and you said they were sent by some unwanted entity resulting from an underwear search, you hid something relating to sex from her before you were married and now she cant completely trust you, and the list goes on. All three have been in our marriage. He acted on his impulses. Either that, or he has joined a hook-up site and has found a married woman in which to have these trounces with. What do I do? I know this sounds crazy after all these years but i keep thinking about it and really dont know if he is telling me the truth or not. NARCISSUS I didnt even know what that word meant until I Googled it. He will beat you down so bad emotionally, you will feel so helpless!!! I want to confront my husband, but I was also in the wrong by snooping. I got married late 2009 and my husband must be the worst husband ever. Even you track him in gps or on his cell phone dont say nothing unless you see him in your eyes cheating, again they will lie if we dont have hard evidence. I was doubled over in severe emotional paun, crying out to God! I think that the reason he will not admit the affair is because he would never want me to think less of him and because he never thought there would be a breech in their secrecy. How did she end up being at the same bowling ally? He will buy a new fragrance or go shopping for new clothes. I cant deal with this.please help me. Leave. You are worth so much more than this!!! half the comments of women here say I think my man is cheating on me, so I decided to invade his privacy, spy on him, and find out if I can really trust him. A word about intuitionIve been with mine for 2yrs. It lasted about 2 or 3 months. why because i am always praying against his going out at night. Youll find it helpful and enlightening to read the comments about cheating below. Awful. You could be the most confident woman in the world, yet because your marriage is on the rocks due to a cheating husband, you instantly feel your self-esteem take a hit. Men are highly overrated. God Bless. I feel like if I ask for his password to check his Facebook he will immediately know what I want to look for and delete any evidence if there even is any. You do say he takes long drives but he might just need to get away from you if you two are arguing or you are giving him a hard time. If he/she cheated with you, THEY will cheat on YOU!!! His answer is always the same youre the only woman I want, the only one I need. I honestly dont know how much more of this I can take and I really wish I could confront him about it all. Thank you. Double-check work commitments. It took my friend 6 years to forgive her husband and learn to trust him again after he cheated. Why bother? The only reason I found out was because I accidentally stumbled across the messages. I think about it almost daily. Its often helpful to write down your fears and concerns or talk them through with someone you trust and respect. He refused to stop communicating with her. Please help! Our sex life is non-existent. Any woman who knows her husband has cheated on her more than one time AND stays with him deserves what she gets. You are worth more than that. Nonetheless, as weve stated above women still cheat, I just think that its probably a bit less frequently than men. May you find the right people and resources to help you through this stage of your life, and may you be strong even when you feel like your world is falling apart. He then walked off into another room. He would want to leave all the time. Work is work when he is there and he worked dang hard at his job. It doesnt seem likely that theyd both make up this stuff, just for the fun of it. Theres alot of stress at home, with the kids and parents. There is no question he is cheating and possible on drugs. How about when he says I know you dont believe me? Or gives me access to his facebook so I can check, gives me his phone so I can go through his texts ( I dont)He does face me (the bellybutton rule) when I confront him, his voice doesnt change, he doesnt get angry.But he refuses to go to counseling and says he wants to move on with his life.. ), and he is leading her on. Well that triggered her to post something about if you have to block/unfriend a friend of the opposite sex of whomever youre with you have insecurities. And the girl from the website i saw txt and emails *naughty pictures sent back and forth* and i did confront him about it because areound that time i found out i was pregnant. I decided to forgive him and he decided to deactivate his Facebook. Do you have someone to rely on for help and support? What I dont get is if hes not married and cares about her why dose he not break off the marriage? i understand it difficult to handle that but somtimes also when u are on your own, you dont ask your husband,boyfrien, fiance his where about he always confuse thinking, why is my wife not asking me this and that, then he will start thinking is she having a affirs with someone, then he will start to be ashame of him self and slowly if he is really love you he will change, unless he is having secret that is hidding from you. I feel like I cant win here. If you know you tend to be aggressive while arguing there is a big chance to lose your control after getting to know that your significant other is not an angel (but a human with their weaknesses). If youre looking to know if youre husband is cheating, there are certain ways you can catch him out: Once you have gathered that hes cheating in some manner, its time for you to collect as much information as possible. He says he will never do it again, that i will be his focus and that when he feels like he needs to be a full MAN again, he will focus that energy he spent on finding craigslist women, he will focus on finding things to spice up our marriage, OR plan weekend getaways. Its like dealing with a child. Maybe your fiance doesnt want to or cant settle down. I also want to add that he does talk about a future with me. am in doubt whether he s havng any affair.. how to find out. A lot of science goes into the nature of how we think as a gender but its not that complicated. I dont no where your from but we are from ga and people just dont like this kinda talk to be brought up its so hush hush but if you cant talk about it how do you fix it? Power, opportunity, money increases testosterone. Wearing jeans, nice shirt, nice shoes and doing more to his hair. The history of deception is so great. At that point, its up to you if you want to stay and put up with it and continue to try, or if you want to go along with his actions and create some distance from him yourself. We fought and he says the he is not having affair but cant remember what the notes refer to. She also said they met up at a parking lot where a lot of people go to hang out and drink after work at around 2 or 3 am when they get off work. We talked and I told myself God forgave and I dont go to church , but I tried so hard to find it in my heart to forgive . for the 2 of us but today when I spoke with him he told me to just look for a place for myself and wed see what happens. When he is home, I dont even get acknowledged anymore its like no matter what I feel like Im bothering him. About a month ago I found out about my husbands affair, a couple weeks prior he started to tell me he didnt have feelings for me anymore and that he no longer was in love with..but loved me because I am the mother of his children. Of course he denied cheating. He never told me he was going to be in the car with her. Lately he has been talking to this girl via txt and i see him talking to her but i can never get ahold of his phone before he deleted their conversation. I felt it during my time away. He wouldntfor the next 20 months I learn about a lot about him. Feel free to share your stories and suspicions below! Other red flags include: he put a lock code on his phone (he has something to hide), he is not intimate physical (he could be getting it elsewhere, or might get it elsewhere in the future) if u have kids he could be trying to keep the dead relationship for the sake of the children it sounds like maybe you should consider talking out your problems and if you dont get the answer you are looking for, things remain the same, or you find yourself unhappy all the time, consider living apart for a while and rebuilding your self esteem (pamper yourself, hang out with fun friends, focus on looking your best at all times even when alone, just have a huge mancation and seek to repair any emotional setbacks that you have experienced from your marriage). I confronted him about the texts and told him I wanted to end our relationship, but he is adamant that nothing actually happened (he admits to leading the girl on via text but maintains that nothing else ever happened between them). And i told him that alochol was just as much a drug as weed is and he and i do not see eye to eye on this. He tries to put it back on me saying Im paranoid. Theres a lot in these comments to suggest that women operate on projection: if we think youre cheating, it must be because we are cheating. Prepare for His Reaction. He always start agruments even in small things which always turn out to be a big issues between us. about 6 months of visits I got pregnant with our first child. He got VERY ANGRY and told me off. He then had a heart attack and quickly confess to the affair. May this experience give your life a deeper meaning somehow, and revive your spirit and soul. You have to protect Yourself, as he seems to be giving you mixed feelings. We began to go out more often with other friends and her, and we became close friends. Hi everyone, been with my husband (now) for 2 years before he proposed to me, we got a place and got married 5 months ago. He comes home after work majority of the time but lately he has been pulling away from me, we are not as intimate as we used to be and he seems to not be as open with me ( with his feelings and just things in general) we used to tell each other everything. I have been getting anonimous emails about my husband seeing another woman since last year. Found some odd emails in his phone tonight, so I clicked one and discovered that he had setup an account on a cheating website Ashley Madison. But i have to let go.. He never admitted to anything other than hugging. That to me is like hes hiding something. I know EXACTLY what you mean .. that nagging feeling .. it is thegut instinct I keep reading about here .. I completely understand how you feel, but if I were you, I would just try to be chill about it, unless you see that theyre talking about something inappropriate. I know this must sound crazy and to extravagant. Rebuilding trust is possible but involves a lot of work if the husband is willing to take responsibility (not blaming it on genes) and explain how and why he did it in the first place. When my mom came home i told her, and, from may i have heard nothing but shouting,my dad tried to cut my mother veins, while she was sleeping he almost killed her so i took his computer and threw it out the window,help me i have bruises and am abused, and so is my mother, we finally move to Greece but her mind canot be taken away from jhim, she kepps leaving text meagges voice mail and other things , my dad says its my fault, i thing hes right, because if i didnt tell my mom, my mom would not be suffering, help im only 10 and i need help, please. He never did. Not only is the age gap ridiculous, its also unreasonable for him to have an emotional attachment to another woman. He cant remember if they had sex but he feels they made out. Your friend sounds like he was the cheater all the time..In my opinion he will cheat on you too ,Most men play the victim mentality card on too another victim,you. And you cant trust that hes not lying about his wife cheating first. I felt like the STUPIDEST woman alive!! this message is to the top post SHANNON. thank you. one time when i asked him about it he said he was drunk. In March of 2011 we attended a local event and she was also there and several other friends. Different, young (mid 20s), easily disposable. If you need help, let me know. A few times, late night. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. Come on though it is hard ot accept if theres someone texting with kisses and its NOT you its someone he finds that appropriate with, and he doesnt trust you to look on his phone now? Hi, I was cheated on about a year ago by my husband! I know how it can rock your world. If you havent alreadydump his ass immediately. I have struggled with my husband for over 15 years. what is the best way to find out the truth? Plus, afterwards, they will feel more confident that you know nothing about their activities. So I was really surprised that he wants to stay together, especially when he seems to have another option. Put simply, if he has been cheating, this tool is likely to make it immediately obvious. Thank you for sharing your story here; my heart goes out to you and your husband. How tragic is that. I was really upset because he made me feel as a crazy person at first for even accusing him of cheating. Thats how bad it was. i told him how can you get married while you are in this cheating situation, aparaently he was doing it just to see if i love him and he realised it was very big mistake that he was doing. while iam saying this i was in the very long dangerous relationship for good 6 years the first two years we were fine with my byfrind the yr folowed eish the man start cheating on me we weere not living in the same house so he was free to do of what he wants later on, he comes to my flat as he pleased and i do the same thing. I left my husband 5 years ago because I found out he was cheating and lying, and I am so glad that part of my life is over. Id gladly swap this jittery post-nightmare reality for what we had before (which was a happy marriage) to not have to have gone through that. You are worth more. Could he have Aspergers Syndrome? I plan on divorcing him and wont waste any more time with someone who has no respect for our marriage. Hed forgotten. I also saw she hadnt responded to him. I dont know what to do, please help me, thanks. i think is good that you found out about his game, dont tell him you know he is having an affairs, play your card wisely , do not panic and approach the other lady, calm down and think of your future. What about a man? My husband knows this girl have feeling for him since I was pregnant because this girl decided to tell him she has feeling even tho she knew he has pregnant girlfriend.but I know he is not serious about her too.its just annoying because he say I have boyfriend witch I dont. Not only that, he risked your health too. he also told me she did say he likes him but continues this. He got VERY ugly, snapped, etc., Im no fool tho & KNOW if he really cared as hed claimed hed have never spoken to me like that, I snapped back at him & went off on him! Do what you would tell someone you love to do in the same situation. And, if he didnt have a sexual relationship, you feel cheated that your best friend, your husband, your groom would even dare spend time with another woman while you slept in your hotel room especially on your honeymoon. All is not well and reading the comments of the ladys, I feel angry of what`s happening in their relationships. This bothered me for the facr she was our neighbor. Hey anonymous, my friend is going through the same kinda thing. The look on both their faces was priceless and he chased me down when I walked out. He goes out and gets drunk. In the first year or so he had lied a few times about drug use which caused me to loose trust I noticed he has put a lock on his phone. For better or worse is what I said on our wedding day.i meant those words down to the core of my being but when is worse, actually the end? Things have been wierd with my husband and me. I literaly have to beg him for a little extra money from him for our child, he works for the rail road, so I know he has the little bit of money that I ask for from him which normaly I dont ever ask for no more than maybe 50 dollors, but I only ask because he uses the car when he gets home and when he goes to work he leaves me with no emergency money and leaves the car with no gas, and with a baby thats just not good for either of us. His bestfriends are a group of cheater not all but most of them! Husband has a friend hes had for 5 yrs. My instincts tell me that he may be cheating but I cant figure out how he would have the time. We even got in to a fight about weed and alchol i dont have a problem with either one i smoke weed but i do not do any other drugs he asked me to stop because he doesnt like it. I dont know if your husband is lying about cheating, but there certainly hasnt been alot of honesty about what hes doing. 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Hard time reading him, and you are learning how to recognize and talk about the signs husband.

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